Masuk Newspaper

Haritu tengah dok kemas-kemas meja kat umah, terjumpa satu keratan newspaper. Tak ingat dah tahun bila. Kalau tak salah tahun 2001 atau 2002 kut. Gambar aku dan kengkawan masuk dalam NST bahangian event. Actually, gambar ni diambik masa kitorang attend dinner alumni sekolah kat PWTC.


Close up

Kelahiran Muhammad Akmal Rayyan

Aku dijangka melahirkan pada 11 September 2008. Walau bagaimanapun, pada pagi 5 September 2008 iaitu bersamaan hari Jumaat, perut aku terasa sakit. So, aku pun bangun macam biasa dan mandi. Husband pon tengah bersiap-siap nak ke tempat kerja. Selepas mandi, aku nampak ada setompok darah pada seluar. Aku pun apa lagi, siap-siap nak ke hospital. Sampai hospital, aku dimasukkan ke labor room. Dok dalam setengah jam, then doktor sampai. Masa tu contraction pon lemah dan baru bukak 1cm. So doctor suruh masuk wad dulu.

Dalam wad, mula-mula sakitnye still tak kuat. Tapi start pukul 11 pagi, contraction makin kuat. Sehinggalah pukul 2 petang, aku mengalami contraction yang sangat kuat. Nurse datang. Bila tengok keadaan aku tu, dia terus inform doctor and aku kena masuk labor room balik. Masa ni, aku memang dah tak sedar sangat dah sebab sakit sangat. Doctor check lagi, bukaan baru 5cm tapi contraction nye kuat sangat. Doctor pecahkan air ketuban. Air ketuban pon dah bertukar kaler. Tak lama lepas tu, aku antara dengar tak dengar, doctor cakap, "Izan, kena operation lah. Baby dah lemas." Aku tak kata apa. Ikut ajelah. Lagipon husband ada kat situ. Biar dialah decide.

Lepas tu, aku pon dibawa ke operation room. Kat sana, macam-macam lah diorang buat termasuklah bius. Aku pon taktau lagi apa yang diorang buat. Tapi yang pastinye, semuanya tak rasa sakit sebab rasa contraction tu mengatasi sakit-sakit yang lain.

Tak lama lepas tu, tepat pada pukul 3.10 petang 5 September 2008 bersamaan 5 Ramadhan 1429 aku pon dengar tangisan pertama baby aku.... and doctor pon cakap, "This is your baby. Kiss your baby". Aku pon dalam keadaan lemah terus cium pipi baby Rayyan.. Then aku terus terlelap keletihan.

Salam Aidilfitri 2008

Rasanya tak terlambat lagi nak ucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf Zahir & Batin....

Get Hari Raya Graphics Here

MARRIAGE..Do Read

Email forwarded from my friend....

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs.Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah.. blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Cuti-cuti at Club Med

A week after raya, we went to Club Med on a weekend Friday to Sunday. The place is nice. These are some of the pictures taken.

Hari Raya 2007

Dah lepas sebulan baru la nak update pasal raya. First time beraya dengan asben and jauh nun di belah Penang. First day pegi beraya la ke rumah semua sedara mara kat Penang. Tak banyak yang nak diceritakan pon. Makanan pon lebih kurang je dengan yang ada kat KL nih. Stay kat Penang sampai raya ke 4 pastu baru balik ke KL. On the way balik KL, sempat la singgah rumah sedara mara kat Perak.

Di pagi raya....

Buffet @ Bukhara KLCC

Sejak first day puasa, me and hubby tak pernah lagi buka puasa sedap2 kat luar. Ada la bukak kat luar tapi cuma kat Jusco dekat umah je la. Kalau tak Secret Recipe, KFC je la. Nak masuk Kenny Rogers asyik full aje. Tu pon sebab tak sempat nak beli atau balik lambat. Selalunye beli aje dekat area Equine tu. So for the first time, Ahad lepas pergi la ke KLCC. Biasala bila dah ke KLCC mesti la teringin nak makan beriani kat Restoran Bukhara. Masa last 2 years kitorang gi masa tu takde buffet lagi. Kali ni pegi dah ada buffet. Bleh tahan gak mahalnye RM55 per person. Ada la jugak try tanya restoran Al-Marjan kat tingkat atas. Tapi tempat dia macam crowded sket la and pernah rasa beriani kat situ. Tapi kurang sedap compared to Bukhara. So last2 decide booking jugak le kat Bukhara. Tapi choices of food kat Bukhara ni agak terhad. The only difference is the food is Arabic food instead of normal Malay food. So kami pon makan la. Tapi tak stay lama pon. Dok situ sampai kul 8 jerk. Takleh nak masuk dah pon. So terus balik umah. Then pagi nye tak sahur pon sebab rasa kenyang dek buffet tu lagi.

Selamat Berpuasa

Lamanye tak update sini. Anyway, Selamat Berpuasa kepada semua yang berpuasa.

Beautiful View

Lamanye Tak Update

Lamanye tak update sini. Dah masuk tahun baru 2007 dah pon. Skang dah masuk bulan February dah. So tak perlulah citer pasal azam ke apa ker. Okla. Thats all. Saje je singgah kejap.

Petrol Voucher

All staffs in GI Desktop are rewarded with petrol voucher worth RM250 due to excellent achievement.

Away Day @ PD

Dah masuk minggu ketiga kita berada di bulan Syawal. Sekejap aje rasa. Rasa macam baru aje start puasa, tau tau dah raya dah pun dan dah nak abis dah pun bulan raya. Cepat betul masa berlalu. Dari tahun ke tahun, tak terasa peredaran waktu. Rasanya masih belum terlambat nak ucapkan Selamat Hari Raya dan Maaf Zahir Batin kepada semua.

Hmm, first day datang keje lepas raya, memang mood nak keje takde langsung. Terbawak bawak sampai harini hehe. Teruk tul. Tapi buat la jugak keje. Bukan lah tak buat. And then last weekend, on Saturday our department ada buat away day, also called Front Office-Engineering Away Day kat Port Dickson. Expected seramai 30 orang but only 14 peoples can make it. Tapi okla dari takde langsung. Kitorang stay kat Corus Hotel for satu malam. Ahad pagi, we went back to KL. Maybe in one or two days more. Ada banyak aktiviti. Yang paling best sekali naik banana boat. Fuhhhh rasa macam nak tercampak je kat tengah2 laut tu. Balik dari PD, 3,4 hari jugak la sakit2 badan ni especially lengan sbb pegang kuat2 masa naik banana boat tuh. Hmm then ada team building and telematch. Aku dapat first prize for first telematch. Dapat toaster oven satu. Telematch nye kena teka sape owner of the interest yg pelik2 yg org lain taktau. Luckily, aku dapat teka 5 out of 13. Hmm I wondered since when I can read other peoples mind ;) Then, at night we were supposed to have BBQ dinner at beach tapi ujan la plak. So cancel, kena la dinner indoor aje. Kurang best la cket macam lunch aje. Tapi okla. Kenyang jugak. Then lepas dinner, diorang ajak karaoke. Aku malas sebenanya tapi diorang kata tak sporting la apela. Last2 aku join jugak la. So dengar la mereka "menyumbangkan" lagu memasing. Then balik ke bilik ready untuk tido.... Esoknye pepagi bangun gi bekfes, packing nak balik KL tumpang trainee dari Uni Petronas nih Aziezie. Sampai kat opis tengahari dan bergerak pulang. Sila lawat photo gallery untuk lihat gambar-gambar yang telah diambil.

Eternal Flame

Close your eyes
Give me your hand, darlin'
Do you feel my heart beating
Do you understand
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Is this burning an eternal flame.

I believe
It's meant to be, darlin'
I watch you when you are sleeping
You belong with me
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame.

Say my name
Sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely
And then you come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling

Close your eyes
Give me your hand
Do you feel my heart beating
Do you understand
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame.

Close your eyes
Give me your hand, darlin'
Do you feel my heart beating
Do you understand
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Is this burning an eternal flame.


*Happy 26th Birthday to you ~20th October 2006 ~

Jalan jalan @KLCC

Jalan jalan kat KLCC. Window shopping jer. Then lalu depan Galeri Petronas ada BWW Art Cars. So jalan jalan tengok keta yang di'conteng' dengan cat.

Ni brochure BMW Art Cars.

Berbuka puasa kat Nailis, Ampang.

Peristiwa harini

Kelakar plak harini. Selamanya sejak aku start keje sini, memang hari hari aku pakai contact lense. Even dari opis lama lagi and dari masa time student lagi dah pakai contact lense. Cuma kat umah aje aku pakai spek. Tapi, disebabkan peristiwa semalam, mata aku pedih giler, so harini aku decide untuk tak pakai contact lense gi keje. Aku pakai spek. Sorang sorang tegur aku. Aku pon cakap la sejak keje sini aku terus kena pakai spek. Haha. Semua macam percaya jer. Tapi aku bagitau balik la aku pakai contact lense everyday. Hehe. Bos aku pon tanya sebab ada sorang trainee kat sini, bila join keje sini tak pasal pasal terus kena pakai spek dah. Ish ish ish teruk jugak ye keje kat sini. Tapi okla. Harini mata pon dah kurang pedih. Esok nak kena gi beli contact lense baru nih.

Tambah Duit

Harini sampai awal kat office. Ingat nak siapkan keje. Tapi kena tunggu other team siapkan their part dulu. So untuk isi masa lapang, hehe lapangnye, update lah blog yang dah lama tak update ni. Harini dah hari ke 10 puasa. Cepat aje rasa. Rasa macam baru je semalam start puasa. Memang sekarang ni masa berjalan pantas tanpa kita sedari. Aku pun dah 25 tahun rupanya. Tapi jiwa ni tak rasa macam 25 je lagi. Terasa masih macam budak2 aje lagi. Hehe. Perasan lak.

Semalam aku dengar cite pasal one biznes opportunity ni. Well, as usual MLM lah. Aku memang dari dulu tak minat sangat sebab aku ni mana pandai wat marketing nak convince orang. Tapi, skang ni aku memang tengah dok cari jalan macam mane nak tambah income. Ntah la. Skang ni rasa macam makan gaji alone, macam tu jugak, Dapat gaji awal bulan, bayar hutang sana sini, tinggal ciput. Tunggu balik next gaji. Hmm.. Aku still pikir lagi samada nak join ke taknak sebab this one different from others. Bukan jual product kesihatan or make up, tapi jual education product. One of my friend here, dah join dah selepas dengar talk akak tu. Cepat tul. Kata dia investment. Dia ni memang bisnes minded jugak.

Citer lain plak, last Thursday, one of my best friends dah terbang ke UK untuk sambung phd nye. Lama jugak dia pegi, 4 tahun. Tapi the best part is dia pegi ditaja dan dihantar oleh UM ke sana. Balik pun terus keje sebagai pensyarah kat UM bergelar Dr... Bestnyer..... Bila la pla turn aku nak amik phd nih. kui kui kui...

Puasa Datang Lagi

Lamanya tak update blog ni. Selalu rasa macam nak update tapi bila tiba masa tak jadi. Next week dah start puasa. Cepat aje rasa. Puasa pun dah abis ganti dah. Tahun ni taktau la berape hari plak kena ganti. Kali ni opis jauh dari rumah. Kalau balik pukul 6 memang pukul 7 la jawabnya sampai kat rumah. Silap silap haribulan, bukak puasa dalam keta je. Tapi taktau la kalau datang awal boleh balik awal. Apa apa hal pon, nak kena ready air sebotol dengan kurma sket dalam keta. Just in case kene bukak puasa dalam keta.
Tahun ni tak shopping raya pun. Tak macam tahun lepas. Before start puasa dah ajak dah mak aku gi shopping raya. Bukan apa, dah ada banyak dah kain baju kurung yang dibeli dan pemberian orang kat rumah tu. Ada la dekat 6 pasang. So aku rasa tu pon dah cukup nak buat raya tahun nih. Lagipon sejak keje sini dah jarang pakai baju kurung. Seminggu sekali atau dua minggu sekali baru pakai. Huhu. Sebab sini pakaian casual. Bleh pakai t-shirt dgn jeans. So tu la jadik uniform aku skang.. Raya tahun ni kemungkinan besar hari Selasa dan Rabu. Plan nak mintak cuti Khamis dan Jumaat tapi taktau la bleh ke tak. Isnin tu dok pikir lagi nak cuti ke tak.

Malam Merdeka

Harini 30 Ogos 2006 pukul 7.30 malam, aku masih setia di sini di meja office mengadap PC untuk menyiapkan keje. Bukan takleh siapkan Jumaat, tapi ada keje lain dah menunggu turn. Semuanya urgent. So stay ajelah. Takde la terpikir pikir masa cuti esok. Bila stay back ni, perut pon cepat lapar. Berlagu lagu dalam perut ni. Nasib baik tadi gi cafe jap beli kuih sket. Kenyang la kejap sehingga nak tunggu time balik. Tau tau ajela Cyberjaya ni susah nak carik makan hehe. Department aku ni pon, memang meriah petang petang. Masih ramai lagi yang tak balik. Tak terasa sangat takde orang. Memang rajin rajin staf dept aku nih hehehe. Aku sebagai orang baru lagi la. Kena la tunjuk rajin jugak heheh. Okla lastly nak wish semua Selamat Hari Merdeka ke 49.

Berehat

Harini adalah weekend pertama dapat rehat kat rumah sejak 2 minggu ni. Start dari 4hb August, 5 dan 6 August 2006, busy dengan persiapan pertunangan. Memang penat giler. 4hb August tu ada plak Away Day untuk Egineering department. Compulsory. Event start at 8.30 am and finished at 9 pm. Penat sangat dan terus continue kepenatan sampai Sabtu dan Ahad. Ahad tu majlisnye. Habis majlis kene pegi Klang plak, jumpa tuk dia sbb tak larat nak jalan dah. Balik malam kul 10. Esoknye Isnin kena pegi keje. Tak cuti. Sibaik dia hantar gi keje hehehe. Tak payah drive. Then keje 5 hari, kene keje lak Sabtu tu. Dari pagi sampai ke pukul 7 malam. Penat giler. Ahadnye dah janji dengan Ayu nak gi gathering dengan budak2 opis NC yang sama sama involve projek TN. Pagi dah keluar umah. Balik dari Midvalley gi minum jap ngan Ayu. Sembang sembang gosip gosip hehe. Balik pon dah petang. Esoknye keje lagi..... Memang penat. So weekend ni dapatlah rehat di rumah dan tido sepuasnye.....

Nak citer pasal keta sket la. Aku beli keta kira baru jugaklah. Baru setahun. Tapi yang herannye, aku tengok keta orang lain, cantik jer. Bersih je. Kenape ntah keta aku tak cam diorang. Dah basuh, buh perfume lap lap touch up sket pon masih nampak sama jer. Jealous lak tengok keta orang lain. Kalau ikutkan, mestila sayang keta baru lagi. Hutang pon banyak lagi. Hmm nak kena wat sesuatu nih. Nak bagi keta sentiasa nampak cun dan bersih hehe. Dapat gaji bulan ni ingat nak grooming sket keta tuh. Nak antar polish beli perfume hehe ape lagi ek. Takpe nanti pikir lagi

Pictures

My engagement pictures are available at this url http://irene5233.fotopages.com